Aug 29

Vive lapel difference

At the end of the lay speaking class on Sunday, we received certificates and lay speaker pins. The certificates had been mistakenly dated “2010,” instead of “2011,” but the consensus of the group was not to get them reprinted. I did cross out “2010” and write in “2011,” if only to remind myself what year I took the class so that, a few years from now, I’ll know whether or not I am on the clock to take an advanced class in order to remain certified.

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In the past, I’d always received a lapel pin like the one at top left – a depiction of the official logo for United Methodist Lay Speaking Ministries. This time around, however, they gave us the smaller and more-minimalist version seen in the foreground. I don’t think this is a case of “old” and “new” designs – I’m guessing both are available at Cokesbury, and have been all along – but simply a case of our new district lay speaking director making a different choice about which kind of pin to buy. Anyway, I like having both kinds of pin. The minimalist version actually looks more like the lapel pins worn by some members of the clergy.

Aug 27

Long day

It’s been a busy week, with the start of the Tennessee Walking Horse National Celebration, but today I was on a different track. As a certified United Methodist lay speaker, I have to take an advanced lay speaking course at least every three years. A few months ago, I thought I needed to take one this year – I had actually miscalculated and could have waited until next year. But, no matter – the courses are always worthwhile.

At the training being held this weekend at Fellowship UMC in Murfreesboro, there’s a basic lay speaking course and a choice of two advanced courses. I had already taken one of the advanced courses. You can repeat a course as often as you like, and it often turns out to be a different experience depending on the teacher and the periodically-updated curriculum, but in this case I decided to try the other course, on the topic of public prayer.

I left the apartment early this morning – which is a good thing, because I went to the wrong place. I thought I had a general idea where Fellowship UMC was, but when I plugged the address into Google Maps I decided I had been mistaken. I followed the directions to 2511 Highway 99 and … there was nothing there.

That’s because I was on Highway 99 east of Murfreesboro – Bradyville Pike – not Highway 99 west of Murfreesboro – New Salem Highway.

Because I had given myself plenty of time, I wasn’t actually late. But it felt late, and I barged in flustered and with a bit of a cloud over my head. It dissipated as the morning went on. Linda Powell, a former member of First UMC who now lives in Smyrna, is one of my classmates. the Rev. Miriam Seyler was our instructor today, and she’s excellent, although a funeral which she must officiate means someone else will have to teach the remainder of the class tomorrow.

It was a good day, but a long one. I decided not to go to the Celebration tonight, although I will stay up long enough to post the winners of the stallion classes on the newspaper web site.

Mar 21

Nap time

Today is the first time since March 12 I haven’t had to spend hours at The Fly Arts Center. I have completed two performances this weekend, worked a Saturday shift at the newspaper, and preached this morning. I warned my co-worker and classmate Becky McBee that I might skip this afternoon’s class reunion planning meeting, and in fact I am about to hit the sofa for some badly-needed rest.

Mar 21

Give God Your Best

Tip for layspeakers: Don’t agree to take a lay speaking assignment the same week in which you spend eight straight days rehearsing and performing a play. You’re not going to have enough time to write your best sermon.

Mt. Carmel Baptist Church
March 21, 2010

John 12:1-8 (NRSV)
12:1 Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead.

12:2 There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him.

12:3 Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

12:4 But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said,

12:5 “Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?”

12:6 (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.)

12:7 Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial.

12:8 You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

On my first visit to Kenya, in 2004, our mission team saw a number of different sights. We got our first, heartbreaking look at the Kibera slums, an area of about three square miles where about a million people live, squashed together in little dirt-wall, tin-roof sheds, without running water, and with very poor sanitary conditions.

We also drove through the big city of Nairobi, parts of which look like many other big cities. One of my teammates that year, Kylene McDonald, noted a very large and modern-looking church, and it really bothered her. With the poverty we had seen just a few minutes earlier and just a few miles away, it seemed offensive, to Kylene, that a church would spend that kind of money on a building.
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Mar 14

Long day, but a good one

5:55 a.m. CDT: Got up, missing an hour of sleep that disappeared overnight.
6:30 a.m.: Arrived at First UMC Shelbyville for men’s club breakfast. Discovered that, because I had casually mentioned that I might not be there to help cook, they had made preparations for me not to be there. I normally dice potatoes, but our kitchen czar Andy Borders had bought frozen pre-diced potatoes. I could have slept an hour and arrived for the breakfast meeting at 7:30.
7:30 a.m.: Take notes on men’s club meeting, for which I am secretary, and enjoy a hearty breakfast.
9:45 a.m.: Head for Mt. Carmel Baptist Church in Rutherford County for lay speaking assignment. Sit in on last part of Sunday School. Service goes well; sermon was posted earlier to this blog.
12:10 p.m.: Lunch at Taco Bell.
12:30 p.m.: Walmart. I bought a carrying case and a MicroSD card for the new cell phone which will be arriving this week.
1:30 p.m.: Arrive at T-G to wait for 2 p.m. meeting for planning my 30-year high school class reunion:

From 2010-03-14

3 p.m.: Arrive at Fly Arts Center for tech rehearsal. It’s a long afternoon and evening, and by the end of it — once the tech stuff was worked out and we actually ran through the play — I was dog-tired and my performance suffered as a result, flubbing a few lines I know I have memorized. Even so, our overall performance as a cast was good, a notable improvement from last week.
8:30 p.m.: Home. I watched “The Simpsons” from the DVR, took a bath, and munched on trail mix. I am, at this point, waiting for one of my T-G co-workers to e-mail me a flash page which we will use on the web site for our annual baseketball bracket contest. Once that’s taken care of, I’ll go to bed.

Mar 11

Almost Friday

It’s been a long and tiring week, but tonight’s rehearsal went very well, and sort of energized me.

We’ve been behind schedule, for some unavoidable reasons related to illness in the cast, and so we’ve been working hard for the past week. And it’s been busy at work as well. I had been feeling really wrung-out.

John Jones, our director, had a schedule conflict tonight, but we’ve been so far behind, we couldn’t afford to skip the rehearsal. So Janice Cole, who keeps the Fly Arts Center running and who has directed many of the earlier plays there, ran tonight’s rehearsal. It was fun to have a different perspective, and Janice worked with some character motivations and punched up a few of our lines.

Janice is also the contact person for reservations, by the way, so please call her at (931) 703-7613 to make yours (…he said, dropping a hint).

No rehearsal tomorrow night, but I have to work on my sermon for Sunday morning at Mt. Carmel Baptist Church in Rutherford County. One of my father’s closest friends is the pastor there, and I’ve filled in for him before (as has my father — they are amenable to undercover Methodists).

We’ll have a rehearsal Saturday night. Then, on Sunday, I have men’s club breakfast at my own church, then I will drive to Mt. Carmel to preach, then I will stop by the Times-Gazette for the first few minutes of planning for my 30-year high school class reunion, then it’s back to the Fly for tech rehearsal. Not much of a “day of rest” this week.

Oct 31

Graduated, again

Well, it’s been a fine day and a half.

The lay speaking class was excellent. The Rev. De Hennessy was a terrific teacher, and my only regret now is that I didn’t get to know him back when he was stationed in Bedford County. And our class was terrific, including the other three men (David Smith, Brad Demonbreun and Greg Holleran) who made up my small group for some of the activities. My frequent LEAMIS teammate Bob Willems was also among the class. This was, if I’m counting correctly, the sixth time I’ve taken an advanced lay speaking class, and the only one it compares to was the first time, when I had the great Don Ladd as a teacher.

Greg and I were also roommates. We were awakened at 1 a.m. today by the chirping of the smoke detector in our room at DuBose Conference Center. The batteries had run low, and the detector began chirping every 30 seconds to let us know. Greg finally had to go look for a chair to stand on so that he could take down the smoke detector and remove the battery. All of this is a good reminder for you to change the batteries in your smoke detectors this weekend.

After leaving DuBose, I drove to Cumberland Pines. There’s a Mountain T.O.P. Adults In Ministry event going on there this weekend, and since I was going to be on the mountain anyway I made arrangements to stop by for dinner. Bob Willems was also there, with his wife Mary Margaret; I saw all kinds of Mountain T.O.P. friends, including Carolyn Greenwood, Jan Schilling, Ben Neal, Curtis Piper, Andy Piper (When in Nashville, stop by Pied Piper Eatery and order the Monte Cristo. Do not tell your cardiologist.), Reed and Deeda Bradford, and of course Mountain T.O.P. executive director Ed Simmons and his incredible staff.

Deeda encouraged me to stay for sharing and worship, but I don’t like to do that on the last night of a camp event. Any other night of camp, fine, but the communion and fishhook ceremony which end a camp (Friday night for a week-long event, Saturday night for an AIM weekend) are there for the volunteers, not for spectators. Besides, I’d already taken communion at the lay speaker training. I came on home to unpack and unwind.

I have to take an advanced lay speaking class at least every three years in order to remain a certified lay speaker. But the next class in which I participate will be the basic class, which I will teach some time after the first of the year on Wednesday nights at Bell Buckle United Methodist.

Oct 29

Not as urgent as first thought

As a certified United Methodist lay speaker, I must take an advanced class every three years in order to retain my certification. I usually try to take a class every other year or so, so I don’t find myself in a bind. There are various topics, but usually only one or two offered at a time. You can take the same class over again if you like or if that’s the only one being offered (and, quite frankly, you usually get something new out of it each time).

I have told several people that I was in a bind this year, and that I have to take the layspeaking class this weekend in Monteagle. Just now, while looking for something else in my blog archives, I found a post about the last class I took — and it was in 2007, two years ago. So I actually wasn’t under the gun this year.

No matter. I am looking forward to the class for several reasons. This is the first time I can recall the class for the Murfreesboro District being held in an overnight format, and I’m looking forward to being at the DuBose Conference Center. Mountain T.O.P. held part of its adult ministry there for a number of years, and I have really fond memories of the place.

I also discovered this week that my Kenya teammate Bob Willems will be in the class, so that will be good as well.

This class is entitled “Go Preach!”, and it’s basically an updated version (with new curriculum) of a class I’ve taken a couple of times before. I’ve actually met the author of the textbook before, and he’s a good fellow, but I have to say I’ve gotten a little frustrated with him while reading the book. He’s extremely dogmatic in a couple of places and lists some preparatory steps as hard-and-fast requirements which, at least in my experience, a lay speaker may not have time or opportunity to do. And he flat-out says, at the end of the book, that if you don’t have time to follow all the steps he’s laid out, you should turn down any request to lay speak!

It’s not that his ideas are bad ones at all — quite the contrary. But I don’t think they have the status of dealbreakers.

He talks, for example, about doing a sort of interview so that you can determine the demographic breakdown and faith history of a church, allowing you to tailor a sermon to meet it. Of course, he cites worst-case scenarios where some preacher uses a pop culture reference which no one in the audience gets, or where a preacher assumes basic familiarity with a Bible story which may not be as familiar to the target audience as it to the preacher.

Sure, stuff like that happens. But I think most lay speakers going into a new situation are going to try to write a sort of middle-of-the-road sermon which would avoid some of those worst-case scenarios in the first place. And I don’t find that there’s always a good opportunity to do that kind of research, especially when the call to preach comes on short notice.

Similarly, I try to write a new, fresh, lectionary-based sermon every time I preach — but the author of the book is pretty dogmatic about never, ever pulling a sermon out of your file and re-using it. If I were called today (Thursday) and asked to preach somewhere on Sunday, I would certainly write a new sermon from scratch. but if I am called Saturday night by a preacher who has suddenly been taken ill (and I’ve been called as late as 7 a.m. Sunday), I’m headed for the “Sermons and Devotionals” folder on my hard drive. I suspect most lay speakers would do the same, and I don’t think there’s a bit of shame in that.

Lay speaking is a great privilege, one I take seriously. I want to give it my best whenever I am called, whether my audience will be seven people or 700. I think the ideas in the textbook are good ones; I just think the author has confused some of his preferences with necessities.

Oct 07

Talents

Our church is doing a Wednesday night Bible study based on the book “Parables From The Back Side,” by J. Ellsworth Kalas. We watch a little introductory video in the form of an interview with Dr. Kalas before each week’s lesson.

I missed the first week of this study, and they ran out of books, so I didn’t have my own book until tonight. I borrowed my mother’s book a couple of days ago and read tonight’s chapter, on the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30).

This is a depressing parable for me right now, because I feel like the servant who failed to make any return on the resources the master gave him. I’ve been feeling the past few weeks like I’m at a dead end, vocationally, financially, socially. I take pride in specific accomplishments, of course, like my mission work or the annual symphony concert in Shelbyville. But the whole seems like less than the sum of the parts. I keep telling myself that there’s something around the corner, but I wish I could have some reassurance of that.

I did get something new to look forward to today. Last year at this time, I was about to start teaching the basic United Methodist lay speaking class for the first time. It turned out to be a very small class, and I wondered how good a job I was really doing with it, but it seemed to work out OK. Today, I got an e-mail asking if I would like to teach the class again this spring, in the same once-a-week format. This time, the venue will be Bell Buckle United Methodist Church, which my father used to pastor but which has grown so much since that time it’s hardly recognizable.

It was gratifying that they want me to teach the class again. I have a suspicion that with Bell Buckle as the host church, we’ll have a larger group, which has both good and bad points.

I still have to take an advanced lay speaking class myself every three years in order to stay certified. Usually, I try to take one every two years, but it’s caught up with me this time around. I’ve signed up for a class which will be held Halloween weekend at the DuBose Conference Center in Monteagle. This is the first time the Murfreesboro District has used an overnight-stay format for lay speaking class. (There will also be a basic class taking place at the same time and place, taught by Ann Benson and Tom Wright.)

I have a lot of fond memories of DuBose from the days when Mountain T.O.P. used to do its Adults In Ministry (AIM) program there. It will be nice to be there again, if only for one night. And I can stop by Lorena’s to see some of my LEAMIS friends.

Apr 05

Not Fade Away

First United Methodist Church, Shelbyville
Palm Sunday – April 5, 2009

Mark 11:1-11 (NRSV)
11:1 When they were approaching Jerusalem, at Bethphage and Bethany, near the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples
11:2 and said to them, “Go into the village ahead of you, and immediately as you enter it, you will find tied there a colt that has never been ridden; untie it and bring it.
11:3 If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ just say this, ‘The Lord needs it and will send it back here immediately.’”
11:4 They went away and found a colt tied near a door, outside in the street. As they were untying it,
11:5 some of the bystanders said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt?”
11:6 They told them what Jesus had said; and they allowed them to take it.
11:7 Then they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it; and he sat on it.
11:8 Many people spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut in the fields.
11:9 Then those who went ahead and those who followed were shouting, “Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!
11:10 Blessed is the coming kingdom of our ancestor David! Hosanna in the highest heaven!”
11:11 Then he entered Jerusalem and went into the temple; and when he had looked around at everything, as it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the twelve.

In 2005, I made my second short-term mission trip to Kenya. On my first trip the year before, we’d been working in the Kibera slums right outside Nairobi. But on this trip, we were working in a place called Ndonyo, in southwestern Kenya. It was a six-or-eight-hour drive in two weather-beaten vans. The vans which are used for public transit in Kenya are called matatus, and you see them everywhere. You can always recognize matatus because they have a yellow stripe down the side.
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