Here’s a little paragraph about the economy from perhaps the greatest history book ever, Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States, by Dave Barry:

THE UNDERLYING CAUSES OF THE CRASH
The stock market of the 1920s was very different from the stock market of today. Back then, the market was infested by greed-crazed slimeballs, get-rich-quick speculators with the ethical standards of tapeworms, who shrieked “buy” and “sell” orders into the telephone with no concern whatsoever for the nation’s long-term financial well-being. Whereas today they use computers.

If I had known that the great Dave Barry was writing columns from both the Democratic and Republican conventions, I’d have read them as they came out. But I didn’t realize it until one of my brothers mentioned one of the columns.

Today, I read through all of the two week’s worth of columns. My favorite was the one about Dave and the also-very-funny James Lileks in search of Darryl Hannah and bird porn protestors (don’t ask).

… plus $24,500 to throw away, there’s always this.

Remember — and this is actually on the “features” page — Dick Tufeld can record additional sayings for, well, an additional cost.

Hat tip: Dave Barry’s blog.

I found out about this from Laura at Fixin’ Supper: Dave Barry has written an election column, on the occasion of the upcoming Florida primary.

Dave Barry may not write a weekly column anymore, but thankfully, about this time each year, he writes one of these.

Every now and then, America produces a great leader — a person of vision, courage, and integrity. Until that leader shows up, why not elect Dave Barry as our president?

– from the official campaign web site, which still lists the date as “2004.” But, make no mistake about it, he’s running again in 2008.

Here is 2/5 of Dave’s stirring Contract With America:

1. If I am elected, within 100 days of taking the oath of office, I will return from vacation to check the mail.

2. Unless I am winning at the slot machines.

Honestly, how can you not vote for him?

I look forward to Dave Barry’s Holiday Gift Guide every year and didn’t realize this year’s was out already until Jennifer let me know. Here’s the lead paragraph:

The holiday season is a time when we should ponder the message of the classic tale A Christmas Carol by the great English writer whatshishame. In this story, the miser Ebenezer Scrooge, who cares about nothing but money, is visited in his house on Christmas Eve by three ghosts — the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and Vice President Dick Cheney. They make Scrooge see the error of his ways by showing him what the town of Bedford Falls would have been like if James Stewart had never been born.