White flag

On Monday, I had taken half a day off work and was working with the novel.

My original concept for the novel had been to start with a real personal experience – my colonoscopy, and turning 50 – and use it as a jumping-off point for a more fictional story. But I was having trouble moving the needle away from my own thoughts and concerns. And it was taking a bad turn. The best way I can describe it is to say that I was in sort of a negative feedback loop, where some self-pity and bad attitudes I had about some situations in my own life were being reflected in my main character – not in a cathartic or constructive way, but in a way that actually seemed to make things worse. And I was finding it hard to push the character’s timeline away from my own.

I was wondering what to do about the situation when I got the call about my father’s injury. I was at the hospital in Tullahoma until almost midnight Monday. Tuesday, worried about Dad on his first day home, and with a lot on my plate at work, I was cranky and tired. I took a little break in the late afternoon and then had a long night Tuesday covering the election.

Anyway, long story short, I am officially throwing in the towel on NaNoWriMo 2012. I am abandoning “Man On The Table.” Maybe, at some point this month, I’ll go back to my 2009 novel, which I’ve always wanted to try to finish and work on. But tonight, I’m going to relax.

Dad, by the way, is doing better today – he’s still hurting, but not as much. Thanks for all your prayers and words of concern.