Let us take a moment to honor those whose bold, world-shaking inventions have made life better for all of us.

• Johannes Gutenberg, inventor of the printing press;
• Thomas Edison, whose inventions included the light bulb and the phonograph;
• Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone;
• Henry Ford, whose refinement of the assembly line made the automobile industry possible;
• Philo Farnsworth, developer of television;
• …and, last but certainly not least, whoever is responsible for this:

Pickle juice ice pops, original dill flavor. I have just discovered this remarkable achievement on the shelves at Walmart, and the contents of the pouch you see here are now in my freezer. I don’t know how much the salt will affect the time it takes them to freeze; the package directions tell you to lay the pops out in a single layer in the freezer, and that’s what I’ve done.

The anticipation is already killing me.