Please remember Newscoma, whose dreams of working for the Weekly World News have been shattered by this announcement.

In ‘Coma’s honor, I will excerpt the lyrics of a song by one of my favorite bands:

in his fishin’ vest and his silver cape
i’ll bet he’s really looking great
you can pretty much tell that he’s lost weight
from the depth of his footprint
it’s said he croons when the moon’s above
singing tenderly, “hunk a burnin’ love”
it’s nice to know he’s still got his stuff hasn’t
lost the accent

– From “Outdoor Elvis,” by the Swirling Eddies