And honey, I miss you and I’m bein’ good
And I’d love to be with you if only I could

I had some time to kill between two county meetings tonight, and I went to KFC for the buffet. I grabbed a biscuit at one point, and a packet of honey to put on it ….

… or so I thought.

On closer inspection, the packet read “Colonel’s Honey Sauce,” with the “Honey” in huge letters, the other two words in tiny letters. Here’s the ingredient list:

High fructose corn syrup, sugar, honey, corn syrup, natural flavor, caramel color

Since the ingredients are listed in decreasing order by weight, there is more corn syrup than honey, and more sugar than honey in the “honey sauce.” Mathematically speaking, this means there can’t possibly be more than 1/3 honey in the “honey sauce,” and it could theoretically be much lower.

That whirring noise you hear is Harlan Sanders spinning in his grave.