Some selected Steven Wrightisms

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  • Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I’m unfamilar with.
  • The universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic.
  • Imagine OshKosh straightjackets, for little insane children.
  • She lived in a beautiful house. It had cathedral floors. When you walked in, you just fell into the middle.
  • You know, the Earth is bipolar.
  • My dog has a web site. All it is is naked cats.
  • In school they told me “practice makes perfect,” and then they told me “nobody’s perfect,” so I stopped practicing.
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About John

John Carney is a journalist, a certified United Methodist lay speaker, a veteran of foreign and domestic short-term mission trips, and author of a self-published novel, Soapstone.
  • http://www.gryfalia.com Kristi

    LOL I especially like the last one. :)

    Sorry I haven’t been around in ages….I have been reading, though. :) Now I just need to catch up on comments.

  • http://www.gryfalia.com Kristi

    LOL I especially like the last one. :)

    Sorry I haven’t been around in ages….I have been reading, though. :) Now I just need to catch up on comments.

  • http://www.artruch.net Art

    I love Steven Wright!

    My favorite:” I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.”

    :)

  • http://www.artruch.net Art

    I love Steven Wright!

    My favorite:” I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.”

    :)