Lake Neuron

The title of my National Novel Writing Month novel was “Postage Required.” The novel had a gimmick in that most chapters began with the main character checking his mailbox. (I thought this would help me get over writers block, but it became forced and I may eliminate it as I rewrite the novel.) But the title also referred to an annoyance of mine which I passed along to my fictional alter ego: those return envelopes which think you’re too stupid to know where to put a stamp.

I am not alone, it turns out. Lake Superior State University has made a relevant entry in its annual “banished words list”:

PLACE STAMP HERE - Dennis K. McDermott of Oneida, New York, says, “It appears on 99% of the return envelopes provided by creditors with monthly billings. It’s especially annoying when enclosed in a rectangle drawn in the upper right corner. (What if you miss?) And then?they inform you that ‘The Post Office will not deliver without postage.’ Can we legitimately claim to be a superpower if we need to be reminded to put a stamp on an envelope?”

Eric Hooper of South Lyon, Michigan, agrees: “If I’m too stupid to figure out where to put the stamp, then paying the phone bill is probably the least of my worries.”

Tags: Novel